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The holidays can be a tough time for divorced dads. The memories of those "together" family holidays can make the separation sting a little more. But don’t despair—while you may not be under the same roof this season, you can still create lasting memories and meaningful connections with your kids.
1. Plan Ahead
Co-parenting during the holidays can easily turn into a logistical headache. The key to avoiding that is planning ahead. Leaving it to when your kids show up at the door will only cause unnecessary stress— so get the kids involved early on. Ask them how they'd like to spend time with you, but also manage expectations and stay flexible. The holidays are always full of surprises, so make sure you have a backup plan.
2. Create New Traditions (They Don’t Have to Be Perfect, Just Fun)
You may not be spending every day under one roof, but that doesn’t mean you can’t create new family traditions that make your kids look forward to staying with you. Think Christmas Eve camping trips in the backyard, a cookie bake-off, or volunteering at a local charity. Choose activities that encourage connection, without letting the kids get sucked into screens.
3. Stay Connected When Apart
Co-parenting can be tough during the holidays, but there are ways to stay connected even when you’re not physically together. Schedule video chats with your kids while they’re at mum’s. Read them a bedtime story, share breakfast together, or just chat about your upcoming adventures. Send a care package full of treats, photos, and a heartfelt letter. It’s a little effort to make them feel close to you, even when you’re miles apart.
4. Create a Support Network
The days can feel long when you’re missing your kids, but remember, you’re not flying solo. Reach out to friends and family for a catch-up, whether it's a BBQ or a cup of coffee. If you don’t have a support network yet, look into joining a group for divorced dads. It’s amazing how much talking to other dads who get it can make a difference. You’ll swap stories, share advice, and realise you’re all in this together.
5. Be Respectful of and Communicate with the Other Parent
Abbie Engelhardt, R.N. of Community Choice Pediatrics says to always
"Find common ground and be respectful. Have empathy. Think about how the other parent feels during a situation and realise that they may handle them differently than you, and that’s ok!"
That's great advice! Communication with your ex is key—your kids should never be the go-between. Share the good stuff: photos, grades, milestones—everything. Show your kids that you and their other parent are working as a team. This helps them feel secure and confident.
The holidays might not be the same without the full family under one roof, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be just as memorable. With some forward planning, a few new traditions, and staying connected—even from a distance—you can still have a blast with your kids. It’s not about perfect moments—it's about making the best of what you’ve got and showing your kids that no matter what, they’ve got you.
DADDING IN ACTION |
Help your kids create a fun holiday calendar with coloured stickers for "Dad Days" and "Mum Days." This way, they'll have a clear guide for the entire holidays. |
RESOURCES:
Podcast:
Episode 299 Getting Ahead of the Holiday Choas with Michelle Mitchell, is an episode from the High Conflict Co-Parenting Podcast that helps co-parents get a handle on the holiday chaos.
Book:
Co-Parenting 101: Helping Kids Thrive in Two Households after Divorce provides a wealth of info and advice about raising kids with a co-parent, covering everything from eating well, to getting along with your ex.
Website:
The Raising Children website is an excellent resource for parents, but also has many articles dedicated to co-parenting advice.
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