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Every dad wants their kids to have that rock-solid confidence, but self-esteem doesn’t happen overnight. It’s built in the small moments—like when they finally tie their own shoelaces or check for monsters under the bed without backup. Each little win teaches them they can handle whatever life throws their way.
Celebrate the Small Wins
It’s easy to overlook the little things, but when your kid rides their bike without falling or helps with dinner unprompted, those are huge for building confidence. It shows them that effort is what counts, and that progress comes from giving things a go—not from being perfect.
Tip: Skip the generic “Good job.” Try, “I’m impressed with how you stuck with it,” for praise that sticks.
Let Them Fail (and Learn From It)
Confidence isn’t just built from success—it’s forged in failure. Let your kids stumble, fall, and figure it out. Whether it’s a botched science experiment or missing a goal at footy, failure teaches them resilience. The trick is to let them experience it, and guide them through learning from it.
Tip: When they hit a roadblock, ask, “What could you try next?” Help them think it through rather than fixing it for them.
When we make failure a learning opportunity rather than something to be feared, we give our kids the tools to grow into resilient, capable adults.
— Dr. Carol Dweck, Psychologist and Author of "Mindset: The New Psychology of Success"
Encourage Independence
Confidence grows when kids get the chance to handle things on their own. Whether it’s letting them make breakfast or pick their clothes (yes, even if they mix stripes with polka dots), these moments of independence show them they can handle themselves.
Pro Tip: Give them a task today. Watch them tackle it solo, and resist the urge to jump in—real confidence grows from doing it themselves.
Model Confidence Yourself
Kids are always watching. The way you handle your own challenges teaches them resilience. Show them how you tackle things that might not work out, and keep going when things get tough. And remember, confidence isn’t just in what you do—it’s about being present too.
Put the phone down. Show them real-life connections matter more than scrolling.
Tip: Go phone-free for an hour with your kids. It’ll show them that being present builds stronger connections—and real confidence.
Foster a Supportive Environment
Confidence thrives when kids know they’re supported. Make sure your home is a place where they feel their efforts are valued, and mistakes are just part of the learning process. Listen, offer feedback, and let them know you’ve got their back.
Tip: Sit down with your child tonight, ask about their day, and really listen. Show them you’re there for them, no distractions.
Building confidence isn’t just about today—it’s about setting your kids up for life. Every small win, every failure, and every moment of independence teaches them they’re capable of handling whatever comes next. You’re not just helping them with today’s challenges; you’re raising resilient, self-assured kids who’ll be ready to take on anything tomorrow.
DADDING IN ACTION |
Tonight, point out one small win your child had today and celebrate it with them. |
RESOURCES:
Books:
"The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed" by Jessica Lahey
This resource discusses how allowing children to experience failure can help build their resilience and confidence.
"Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture" by William and Jennifer McCarthy
This book provides strategies for helping girls build self-esteem and navigate societal pressures.
Podcasts:
Podcast: "The Parent-Child Connection"This podcast covers various parenting topics, with episodes focusing on building self-esteem and confidence in kids.
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