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Ever find yourself tuning out during one of your kid's tales about Minecraft, only to be jolted back to reality by a curveball question like, "So, what do you think I should add next to my Nether portal?" Suddenly, you're scrambling to remember whether the Nether portal was the one with the zombies or the one that looks like a giant purple doorway (hint: it's the doorway).
The Art of Active Listening
Active listening is when we stop just hearing words; and fully engage with what’s being said. It means putting down your phone, making eye contact, and showing genuine interest in the latest schoolyard saga or the intricacies of a Roblox adventure.
Connect the Dots
Active listening helps bridge the world between you and your little ones. It’s how you find out that when they say they're "fine," there's a whole iceberg of feelings beneath. Sometimes, kids speak in riddles. Active listening turns you into Sherlock Holmes, decoding messages hidden in stories about school or friends.
Build Trust
When they see you're genuinely interested, it lays down layers of trust. It tells them, "Dad’s got my back," making it easier for them to come to you with the big stuff later on.
How To from the Pros
Dr. Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist and parenting expert, explains;
"Active listening is where you reflect what you hear, showing you understand both the content and the emotions behind it."
This technique isn't just for therapists; it's for dads too. Reflecting shows you get it, even if you're internally Googling what "sus" means.
Dad-ify Your Listening
The "Hmm" and Nod: Sometimes, all it takes is a "Hmm" and a nod to show you're with them, fully tuned in.
Ask Follow-Up Questions: Show your engagement by diving deeper. "What happened next?" or "How did that make you feel?" turns a monologue into a dialogue.
Repeat in Dad Terms: Reflect what you’ve heard but with a dad twist. "The school lunch was more mystery meat than meatloaf, huh? Man, that's rough. Guess it makes our taco Tuesdays look like gourmet dining, doesn't it?"
"Effective communication is built on a foundation of respect and empathy. Listening isn't just about silence; it's about understanding."
- Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
So next time, before you jump in to solve, advise, or dad-splain, take a moment to just listen. It’s about understanding their world from their perspective, not just preparing your next dad joke (though, keep those handy, too).
DADDING IN ACTION |
This week, challenge yourself to one full conversation a day where you’re all in—no distractions, just you, your kid, and both your ears. |
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